inspiration

oh my friends, it has been so long since i've come to this blog. so much has happened in our lives it seems unreal at times, yet i do see light at the end of the tunnel. and that is such a good feeling. i have been spending so much time getting our new house in green organized and decorated and trying to dig my way through our house on daryl that we hope to sell this spring.

in all the busyness i have been neglecting my sewing machine. and that's just not right. so earlier this month i decided it was time to get back to the basics of fabric and thread.

so where do you pull your color inspiration for your next quilt?

i'm currently using this new wall art and fresh bouquet of silk flowers. i dug into my stash, cut a few from jellen's house of fabric, and i've been traveling around to other shops the past few weeks too. the journey of collecting is so much fun!

now what pattern to use? sometimes i select that first, yet not this time.

a july miracle...

i could not possibly have known what was in store for us on this day five years ago, but i do know the miracle that unfolded before my eyes set us on a journey that has been life altering for so many reasons. it was midmorning when i checked sarah into the medical office for a follow up appointment. the previous six months had been dreadful. earlier that year we had been told her days were numbered. her body was so weak. her lungs so permanently damaged. her heart was surrounded with fluid and her immune system was beyond fragile. the antibiotics and steroids they had pumping through her veins were like water to an already dead plant. we were as mentally prepared for the worst as i suppose any parent can get.

i watched carefully as the doctor examined sarah. first she poured over the results from the blood work taken a few days before. then she listened to her chest. i looked for a clue or two of expression as she repositioned the stethoscope on sarah's back. i'd learned over the years to look for those tiny signs of human emotion on a doctor's face. i suppose it helped prepare me for what i was about to hear. i remembered her look so clearly back in january of that year, when this same doctor handed me the list of hospice providers. it was that conversation that ultimately lead me to resign from my job to care for sarah fulltime. if 2009 was to be her last, i wanted to be sure to be a part of every moment.

as she flipped the switch on the light box to examine the chest x-ray taken earlier that day, i was afraid to look. i heard her words before i walked over to look for myself. sarah's lungs were the clearest I had viewed since being taught how to read an x-ray when she was a baby. i could not recall in sarah's twenty years on earth a doctor say the word perfect to describe her. so i asked her to repeat what she said. "perfect. i said perfect." i'm sure my face contorted in all sorts of confused looks, which had her repeat for the fourth time..."perfect." we both agreed we were taken by complete surprise, but every indicator that had been so wrong in the winter was now in normal range. the doc never uttered the word miracle, but she didn't have to. our tight embrace said it all.

sarah and i went to ihop for lunch that day to celebrate. it was a day of new beginnings. i wasn't sure what they would look like, and i can assure you a quilt shop was no where on my radar screen, but oh how grateful we are that on that morning of july 30, 2009 we were given a new lease on life. her gown that day may have been made of paper, but it would be fabric that would soon change our direction completely.

love on a big blue bus...

periodically i share on this electronic forum my belief in a grand master plan, the knowledge that there is a greater force guiding this journey we are on. for me the hardest thing is believing in that plan when things don't seem to be going my way. and this week was a perfect example. i'm not sure it's going to work out long term in the building we are currently occupying. the uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty has crept back and that has been weighing heavily on my mind. i started to question the plan including the reason for our existence.

so my higher power sent me a big blue bus. all the way from western michigan. it was full of the most wonderful women, mostly quilters, and the nicest driver. they were all so happy, cordial, and patient. i knew they were coming, as the tour coordinator and i had been communicating for several weeks.

what i did not know though, is on that bus was going to be a grandmother who would speak directly to my heart. for a few brief moments our connection stood still in time. we were surrounded by her bus mates, yet we were all alone in our own bubble of emotions.

sarah shared that she will soon be twenty five years old. verna's eyes filled with tears as she shared that she hoped her granddaughter, also named sarah, would live that long too. i grabbed sarah's hand and held it tightly as i listened to this stranger tell me her story. we'd never met until today, yet, we were not really strangers at all. you see we both know what it is like to have a loved one with down syndrome, who is also so medically fragile that our goodbyes could come at any moment. we know the immense amount of prayer and miracles it takes to have our girls still in our lives. our shared tears told each other we also know the heartbreak of so many families in our Ds circle who have had to say goodbye much too soon.

as she told me her sarah is now ten, i thought back to that summer of 1999, when we held a party for our sarah, a celebration of one decade of life. surrounding her were all her friends from school, nurses, docs and therapists. we were not sure that august if she would still be with us to start back to school in september. 

yet soon, our sarah will be celebrating one quarter of a century. today that gave a grandma, visiting our little quilt shop all the way from michigan, hope. hope for tomorrow. and that's just what i needed to remember that our story is not one of selling fabric, it's about human connections. making a difference one family at a time. i simply need to keep the faith and move forward, for our direction will soon become crystal clear.

we'd like to thank kimberly and her husband, xpeditiontravel.com, compass coach and all the travelers for coming to shop with us. we sincerely appreciate your visit and support.

 

on the wings of an angel...

it's no secret that the past few months have been a bit rocky for us. it's hard to imagine how life can be rolling along just fine and then out of nowhere comes that thunderous jolt that changes everything. i've learned much during the process. and although i would not wish our scenario on anyone, it has been life enhancing. i've learned to rely more on my faith and the belief that there is a higher power guiding us through. most important we have our family and our health.

still there are days that i feel desperate in hast to have more answers than i currently do. it was that way earlier in the week. the store was full of customers when a young woman walked in. she began to recite a memorized script that i quickly suspected was that of a solicitor. but there was something sweet about her demeanor and vocal delivery, so i let her finish instead of shooing her off.

when she opened the lid of the box she was carrying, i started to put my hand up to indicate that i was not interested in what she had to offer. but laying on top of her selections was this beautiful purple angel.

i asked her how much. as i handed her the $15 she requested, you would have thought it was several hundred. she thanked me profusely although there was no need really, for she was merely a messenger that day. in time, i will likely have a clearer vision, a keener understanding of this road we are on. for now, i have a visual reminder, divinely enhanced by the afternoon sun, that we are not walking this road alone. 

signs of life ahead...

we've been working hard trying to get our new building operational. it all happened so fast without much time to think and truthfully there are moments when i am second guessing myself. i start to wonder if this is really what was planned for us. and then today...

 

 

...i discover a purple crocus next to our very special bird from marie bostwick that i just plopped on the ground as we were moving last week. that new sign of life, a sneak peak into the beautiful days of springtime ahead, is just what i needed to get me back in the swing of things.

meet happy henry...

happy, happy day in our house! this precious family drove from michigan to meet sarah. they've been following her blog since the time of their diagnosis of down syndrome before henry was even born. when we hear stories like this it makes what we do have even greater meaning.

and when we get to meet them in person, it takes us to the moon and back. it just provides such validation to our mission. we are most grateful.

a triple miracle

we had a little visitor in the shop this weekend. her grandmother marcy and i have been friends for a very long time. we were girl scout leaders back in the day when our girls were young. sadly her daughter had some medical issues as a teenager and was told she would never have children.

surprise!

during the pregnancy, they discovered that sweet bella had a tumor growing on her stomach the size of a fist. she was whisked away immediately after birth for surgery. and now look...

 

a triple miracle!!!

 

on a side note...marcy is also the realtor who was combing northeast ohio with us to find the perfect setting for the new home for sarah and her grandparents. life sure does come full circle in a beautiful way.

scraps to some...

we have such a wonderful story to share this week.

last saturday, my soon-to-be daughter asked me to go with her for her final wedding dress fitting.  shortly after carol arrived to help in the shop, i went to get sarah, as she too wanted to see julie in her dress. sarah forgot her water at home, so we stopped back at the shop.

katrina was so excited to show us that a huge box had just been delivered from kate spain.  i thought i might know what was in it, so i told katrina she could open it as we had to run or we would be late for the fitting appointment.

an hour or so later, my cell phone beeps to alert me of a text message. i was driving, so i asked julie's mom who was sitting next to me in the front seat, to please look at it for me in case they needed to reach me back at the store.  she looked at it and said it was a picture. "of what?" i asked. she told me it looked like a box of scraps...

 

i did not need to ask for a description. i just knew it was sunnyside, kate's next fabric collection due in stores sometime in september.  we have already been most fortunate to have spent some time sewing with it as our quilt for the better homes and garden's quilt sampler was created with sunnyside.  the minute we received the phone call that we had been selected as a sampler shop, we contacted kate to see if she had something in the works. that is when we first learned of sunnyside.  one day in the near future we will share that story, but for now...the rest of today's story. 

 

the box of scraps sat next to our cutting counter all weekend. truthfully, i wasn't exactly sure what to do with them.  they were still there when the store opened on tuesday. i knocked into the box a few times, but we were quite busy so i just let it be. 

 

about four o'clock that afternoon, a sweet gal inquired about pre-quilted fabric. i apologetically told her, we did not have much of a selection, then showed her the two we did have.  she liked one of them, and then asked me to help her find a fabric to bind it with. i could not find one single bolt in the store that matched the quilted fabric.  so i asked her what she was going to do with it.

 

she told me she was expecting a great grandchild, not her first or her second. not even her third. (i will withhold a few details, to protect the family) she told me she has made all of her many grandchildren and great grandchildren a quilt, but her eyes and fingers just can't do the kind of work anymore she once did. still she wanted to make the new baby something with her hands and a friend suggested pre-quilted fabric.  it was at that moment that i thought of the box of scraps. i opened it up and started pulling them out one bunch at a time until finding this one...                 

 

the color was an exact match, although i did mention that it has words on it. as i read "let the sun shine into your heart," her face beamed with a smile.  she said that would be just perfect, as she calls her granddaughter who is having the baby, sunshine.  i looked through the cuts and found ones large enough for binding. when she inquired how much they were, i replied, "no charge, they are a gift from kate."

 

the next morning when sarah came into the shop, she went to the table she often works at and looked at all the scraps. then proceeded to say..."mom, you're kidding right? i don't have to count these do i?" i laughed and said no, we were just going to divide them up and make gift bags for later in the summer. 

 

"good idea!" she exclaimed, "but not these." she then pulled out the rest of the yellow strips i had given to the customer the day before.  "and not these either mom," as she handed me the teal set that also had the writing on it.  we busily stuffed the rest into baskets and put them under the table.

 

fast forward to late this afternoon. i looked up from the cutting counter and the same sweet woman was back. i wondered to myself if she had a problem sewing the binding on that i had cut for her on tuesday.  i quickly walked from behind the counter and asked if i could help her. she asked if i had any more of that fabric.

 

it turns out it worked so well she wants to make a few more for future great grandbabies, but maybe with a different color binding, she stated.  so i walked over to the table where sarah had left the two on wednesday. as i did, i wondered how she knew? how did my sarah know this woman would be coming back for more and in a different color? 

 

i asked the customer if i could cut the binding again for her. she told me she would really like that. as i worked, we got to talking. i was thankful there were no other customers in the store at that moment. the smile on this dear woman's face the first time i met her could not have prepared me for what she shared today. i intently listened, realizing we surely never know the road other's have traveled. the pain they've experienced, the heartbreak. the sorrow. 

 

as she told me more of her family situation, i recalled reading the words that kate had spoken of how she wanted to design a collection "that reflects the transition from stormy, rainy skies to sunshine, silver linings, hope and new growth."  

...i can't think of a better way to do that then combine orchids from cuzco with words from sunnyside, by a great grandmother who so warmly embraces the notion that life indeed goes on if you just "let the sun shine into your heart."  she asked again after i finished cutting her binding today, how much it would cost. this time i responded, "it's a gift from kate. kate and her sister."

heartfelt words by marie...

Almost four years ago to the day, I walked out of United Way and my not-for-profit career for the last time. I thought I was coming home to create peace for my precious Sarah who the doctors thought might be entering the last phase of her life and suggested we bring in hospice services.

Little did I know that an entirely new path had been laid out for us. Several months later we opened the doors of a tiny little boutique quilt shop which has been given a mission with arms that are far reaching beyond just fabric. Yesterday we opened the cover of a book by New York Times best selling author Marie Bostwick to find this heart warming sentiment...

I absolutely could never have predicted the turns our life would take or the fact that when we walked out of that hospital room in February 2009, we would not return, as Sarah's health has never been more perfect. 

Thank you to all who are supporting our efforts.  Without our wonderful customers, our story would not be what it is today.

And to Marie, thank you for including us in your journey.  Your friendship means the world to us.

it's father's day...

i originally posted this last year, yet it's message still rings true...and i would like to send out a message to my dad.  he is rarely visible around the house of fabric, but behind the scenes he has been one of my greatest supporters. visiting chamber events, offering business advice, building shelving, even paying invoices to help us get started. jellen's would not be what it is today without his help. not to mention being the best grandfather ever to his precious sarah...

thanks dad. we truly appreciate your help. happy father's day. we love you!!!

when perfection arrives...

there are days when life can just be...frustrating. but then the door chimes and in walks a breath of fresh air...

pure perfection.  sarah and luke.  they have so much to teach me. so much to teach the world.

happy new year...

our moto of the year...

brought to us by our friends at moda/united notions.

hip happy lily

my favorite lily was in today. she has been saving her money for something special...

...this funky heart & paisley print from the hip happy collection by lizziebcre8ive. lily carefully counted out her money from the hot pink sparkly change purse she carried today. she had just enough to buy what she needed to make a skirt. i can't wait to see how cute it is the next time lily comes in. grandma edna is helping lily learn to sew. please make time to inspire one another. the next generation will appreciate your time and creativity will evolve.  happy stitching lily.

anxiety to ataraxia...

as worrisome was my night, daylight brought new freshness. i stood for longer moments than usual in my closet, pondering which suit to dust off. i decided i should match it to a bag i could carry. a bag from the store that is. never before have i tried to balance a business suit with a quilted creation.

i arrived in the parking lot to find aimee waiting to assume her duties for the day. that eased my mind considerably .after just a few minutes of discussing cash register logistics, our first customer arrived. i made a few introductions and then stepped upstairs to the office. when i returned to the store, aimee was already handling things like a pro. i never doubted that. soon i said goodbye and jumped in my car. not too far down the highway, i found myself settling into a peaceful place.



not even a stand still traffic snarl peaked my anxiety. i put in a favorite cd and cranked the volume louder than usual. as i continued to drive i felt more and more relaxed. i haven't driven this highway for several months. before the store, i was heading to columbus every chance i could get. owning a retail shop changes things. at least for me it did. the weather was perfect, so i opened the moon roof. the warmth of the golden sun felt exhilarating.

before i knew it, i had arrived in franklin county. early. very early. i had wanted to stop at a fabric store that i had been hearing about. now i had plenty of time. the instant i walked into sew to speak, i was not disappointed. so cute. a vibrant funky kind of store. a woman immediately came over and commented on the bag i was carrying. that made me feel good and confirmed it is the small details that can make a difference. her name is anita, turns out she owns the store. we chatted for a short time. i shared that today was my first day away from jellen's and i was a little nervous about that. she totally understood. i purchased some fun fabrics from japan, purple of course, and a few leather purse handles.

next i drove a bit further down high street to the glass thimble. i've been shopping at this store since i first arrived in columbus for graduate school back in september of 1981. the store has not changed really. as i walked around, a flood of memories came back. i recalled the fabrics i had purchased to complete a quilt for my parents twenty-fifth anniversary, some blue calico for a neighbor's first baby, and many yards of the brightest fabrics i could find to take with me to choices, the shelter for battered women where i worked as the house manager during the midnight to eight am shift.

i looked at the clock and realized i had time. time. time to retrace my footprints. i drove to my old house. it looked the same mostly. i drove through the bumpy alley as i had done so many nights long ago. i kept driving until i had reached my destination. i pulled into a parking space noticing the signs of springtime all around. buds just about to open in the flower beds. i recalled the night those same beds were swarmed with members of the columbus swat team. i had been alerted by the police in cincinnati that an abuser had stolen a truck and they believed he was heading for the shelter. and he could be armed.

i had quickly gathered all the woman and children and had ushered them safely to the basement. a few had grabbed their quilting project from a class i had held the previous afternoon before leaving their rooms. there in the dim and musty cellar of this home, turned safe place, we stitched together. sharing the fright of the situation. i remember sitting on a small step cradling the woman who was being stalked. as i vividly recalled that evening, i suddenly felt ashamed. how could i have been so afraid? anxiety should not come from leaving a quilt store in the hands of someone else. anxiety is the fear these women knew. fear so great they had no choice but to flee their home for safety.

i turned to look toward a window on the side of the building. it was in that room that we gathered every week. there were always a few new women each time, as this was a short term shelter. i recalled the evening i persuaded debbie to join us. her arm was so badly wounded from being attacked by a pit bull while she was tied to a tree by her abuser. she initially did not want to come, afraid that she would not be able to sew one handed. we sat side by side, she pushed the needle down through the fabric and i would reach under to push it back up. together, we worked to complete her first quilt block.

i needed to go if i was to make my meeting on time. as i got closer to the ohio state university campus, more and more students were walking about. i wonder how many of them will have the opportunities that i have. the chance to make a difference. the opportunity to realize what is truly important in life. as i walked out of the parking garage and first glanced at stillman hall...

i felt at complete ease. i felt free from any anxiety. i felt euphoric really. how blessed i am, i thought to myself. then i stepped off the elevator and was greeted with congratulatory praise from other members of this committee i sit on. i wondered how they knew what i had just experienced. how could they know. as soon as i opened the meeting folder i saw...

the story had already been written. in fact, it was already up on the ohio state university website. from anxiety to ataraxia. in less than twenty four hours. a journey thirty years in the making. lead by a very divine plan.

dream with your hands...

every sunday i have waiting in my gmail inbox a quote of the week from where women create. today's is exceptional...

if you would like to receive your own quote click here. i wish all of you on this snowy sunday in cleveland, beautiful dreaming today. we have all been so blessed with creative hands.

blessings and patience

it is with deep gratitude and appreciation that i am able to introduce you to my new friend alice...

she came in today looking for some binding for this absolutely adorable wall hanging. the level of detail is amazing, much done by needle turn applique with teeny, tiny little stitches. alice is a skilled quilter. i can't imagine the number of masterpieces she has completed in her ninety plus years of life.
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i met alice once before. her first visit to our store did not go quite as planned. we've been so worried about her. week after week, friends would come in and give me a report. it was a slow road to recovery, but alice was patient.
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which made her visit today all the more exciting. it was so good to see her and this adorable project that she was kind enough to let me photograph, but not before she took her coat off and fluffed her hair. jeepers, i hope i have her spunk and sense of humor when i reach her age. just in case you are wondering, we did not have the little red calico she first inquired about, but we did have a perfect red pin dot.
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seeing alice up and walking, full of energy, and sweet as can be, truly made my day. and then she gave me a charming white wicker basket from her collection. she said it looked just like our store and she wanted me to have it for good luck. thank you from the bottom of my heart alice. i will treasure that basket always along with the memories you have etched in my mind.

welcome home frank...

so many of you have asked about the photos we have on display with our collection of red, white and blue fabric. they are all military families that happen to have a child with down syndrome. we pray for their safety often.


tonight, at this very moment, a large crowd has gathered at fort campbell waiting for an aircraft to arrive. soon frank will be getting off that plane. thank you frank for a job well done. i know there are going to be some very happy girls in tennessee.

a heart quilt for sarah

twenty one years ago today, my baby girl lay fighting for her life in the cardiothoracic intensive care unit following her open heart surgery. she wasn't supposed to still be here. if her recovery had gone as planned, we would be back on the regular peds floor and she would be wearing the little red dress i had made for her first valentine's day. instead, she was still connected to a ventilator, tubes coming from every tiny limb, she even had an iv line coming from the top of her almost bald head. each tube was connected to a pump, controlling the flow of various medications trying to bring her out of the crisis she was facing. we had been told the outcome looked grim.

as i sat in the corner chair in the parent lounge, waiting for the next hour when we could visit again, i felt a great need to do something. with my hands. the idle time was unbearable. my mind often wanted to veer off course. to imagine the worse. i needed an outlet. i needed to create. so i started a quilt. a teeny, tiny, little quilt. with hearts. not just for valentine's day...

but also as a reminder of the valiant fight sarah was demonstrating. i didn't have much time, or much fabric. but then my six month old daughter was a mere eighteen inches long and was loosing weight faster than she was gaining it.

i needle turn appliqued four small hearts onto a square of muslin. i embroidered four hearts with red floss. and then i chain stitched her name in the center. during my next visit to her bedside, i tenderly placed the quilt upon her bruised and limp body, being careful to not disturb any tubes or wires. soon after, the machine monitoring her heart rate beeped. the nurse told me that meant she was happy. and that meant for a moment, i was happy. that tiny little quilt meant something to my girl. and that gave me a new sense of hope. sarah's quilt continued to give her comfort for the many months of her recovery.

for a few years i carried it with me when i would talk to groups about having a medically fragile child. i took it to a few needle and quilt guilds in the early 90's, then i tucked it away for safe keeping. until last year december. the fat quarter shop was doing a giveaway for l'amour by sandy gervais. they asked for a letter to be written to santa to explain why you would like to win, so i did. unbeknown to me, one of sarah's nurses from so many years before had been reading her blog. she left a comment asking if we still had the quilt. so i went searching.

february 2011. in the front window of our new quilt store, i slowly and delicately laid that teeny tiny quilt on the table. not that i needed to be careful of the tubes and wires this time, rather i wanted to savor in the beauty of where we are. today. alive. thankful. and so very blessed by a grand master plan so full of details. and tiny stitches. in both sarah's heart and in her quilt.

perfect pathways...

never have my paths crossed more perfectly than in this new quilt shop of ours. i never set out to own a fabric store. but then who ever really knows the exact path their life will take. i'm often asked about my background by new customers. i've been sewing since i was seven. i started quilting as a teenager. mostly self taught. by degree, i am a social worker. i earned my bssw from bowling green and my masters from ohio state. i have worked with abused children, battered women and victims of rape. for years i raised money for united way to help support social service programs. i have been the executive director of the american heart association in cleveland. in each one of these jobs i found a way to incorporate fabric and thread into the lives of the ones we served.

today tom gregoire, the dean of the college of social work at the ohio state university came to visit our new shop. i have been sharing some of what we have been doing...employing young adults with developmental disabilities, stitching pillowcases for young cancer patients being treated at local hospitals, making quilts for families who have adopted a baby living in an orphanage, and appliqueing sunbursts onto onesies for new parent visits by a local support group. we are not alone in this endeavor. quilt shops for years have been a place of social support and friendship building. women have been hosting quilting bees for centuries for the same purposes. i know that intellectually, it's just i've never before witnessed the interaction so closely. with my own eyes. on a daily basis. how enriched and blessed i am. and how aware i have become of the human importance of local quilt shops.

sew thankful...

...for all our new friends

we would like to extend our heartfelt appreciation to all our new stitching friends who have supported us during our opening months. we are extremely touched by your enthusiasm and appreciation for a quilt store in our area. we look forward to many years of continued growth and friendship. wishing you and your family a blessed and relaxing thanksgiving.